A Letter to Minneapolis

Dear Minneapolis,

I like you. I enjoy your east coast feel and building-to-building bridges.

But I think you have some issues. Why are you so cold and windy? I don't desire to have the skin ripped off my face by an invisible force with every step I take.

Why is almost everything closed on a Sunday afternoon? You are the only place where I've ever seen a Starbucks and an Arby's completely black at 1pm. Cute Thai restaurant after cute Mexican restaurant after cute sports bar, all dark and vacant. Why must I scavenge like a homeless rat in your windy cold, only to find everything boarded up like something out of "28 Days Later?" Where did everyone go? And why don't they need to eat on Sundays?

Also, "MinneAdPolis?" Do you really want to be known as "The City of Advertising?"

I have to give you a little credit. You have a good Target. Two stories. I got a hard drive and the new Spoon record. I like you for that. But that's only because I was so happy to find one place that was warm and open for business...So don't get a big head.

Please try harder next time.

Take care,
Mike