The Bathroom From Hell

Our master bathroom is just mean. It's got all pinky-peach colored tiles, little seashells everywhere, a nice big shower, it says "hello! Enjoy your time in the restroom!"

But then you come in and the shower is populated with baby things, not usable. The sink has gotten a cold or something -- it's become congested and basically only trickles water. And to cap it all off, the toilet has stopped flushing. Entirely. Mean bathroom.

As Samantha says, "It's so inviting and sparkly and then it shits all over you."

Well anyway, I had a Roto Rooter guy over, who helped remove the obstruction in the sink. And the toilet, believe it or not, I fixed it myself. Yes, I actually went back to the dreaded Home Depot and picked up a tank leveler and installed it on my own. It took me almost a half hour to get the thing in too because the old one was very stubborn. But it felt good to not pay the Roto Rooter guy $185 to do it. And hooray for me. The little baby got all growed up.

It's all about the little triumphs.

So now the bathroom isn't such a tease. The shower's still full of stuff though.

Broken Open

Today, someone broke the back windshield of our car. I mean, I think someone did, barring airplane waste falling from the sky or giant rocks flying off the road...it was probably the work of a vandal. Nothing was taken from inside the car, as there was absolutely nothing to take, unless you're jonesing for a baby carseat base or a $10 Radio Shack phone earpiece. They didn't even take the $3 cash in there. So I guess sometimes when you're a vandal, you've just got to randomly smash a back windshield to get your feelings out.

Dude, learn to paint or something.

If you will, I'd like to take a moment of silence for the windshield.

...

.....

And now, in honor of our windshield, who has served us well for years, protecting us from the elements, defrosting frost and generally being clear (except when we don't wash him), I'd like to quote a few lyrics.

"Broken mirror
You did not lie
You told me what's wrong
And you told me why
Your pieces are true
Sharp and blind
Nobody looks back from your unseen side"

--Freedy Johnston, "Broken Mirror"


"Careful barefoot on the floor
I threw the phone at the door
I missed the door and hit the mirror
She hung it up when she lived here
And pieces of blue glass fall..."

--David Poe, "Blue Glass Fall"

"See how easy things can break?
If its crooked, make it straight
Do you love me? I can't tell
Pick up pieces and make me well."

--David Byrne, "Broken Things"


"So take me from the wreckage
Save me from the blast
Lift me up and take me back
Don't let me keep on walking...
Walking on broken glass."
--Annie Lennox, "Walking On Broken Glass"

Oh, Old Windshield, you will be missed. Rest in Pieces.